I spoke to my Father for the first time in almost twelve years today.
I’ve thought about what I was going to say to him a million times over. I even replayed it in my head right before I picked up the phone, but all I could do when I heard his voice was break down and sob.
I wanted to be angry at him, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but I just couldn’t. I wanted to ask him all the questions I had been carrying around with me all this time, but before I could get anything that made sense to come out of my mouth, my father spoke the words that I have been aching for since I was a little girl.
“Mandy, from the depths of my heart and soul I am so sorry for all of my mistakes, I am sorry for your childhood and for the burdens I placed on you at such a young age. I am sorry for not protecting you like I should have.”
“My mistakes are my own and I don’t want you to carry them around anymore. I love you, I have always loved you and I always will. You are such a strong beautiful person. I’am proud and honored to call you my Daughter.”
Our conversation didn’t last more then ten minutes but those few minutes were so precious to me. For the first time in my life I truly felt like I could breath in and let go of my past.
I have prayed about this for so long and I thought I wasn’t being heard. Everything is truly in gods time not our own.